frustrationThe most frustrating words ever spoken by a wife are “I don’t care.” Usually, these words are spoken after an interrogatory such as “Where do you want to go for dinner tonight?” A simple question to be sure, but one that has multitude of pitfalls for the unsuspecting husband. Welcome to Crazytown!

Gentlemen, when she says “I don’t care.” it does not really mean that she does not care. It means that she does care, but she really does not know that she cares. In other words, it is up to you to become The Great Kreskin so as to provide the information necessary to solicit the appropriate response from the wife. It is so frustrating! It takes great skill and instinct.

When the little lady says “I don’t care.” as to where you are going to eat, you might follow up with more specificity by asking “Well, what would you like to eat?” because knowing what you would like to eat can narrow down the possibilities of where you would like to eat. I know, a First World problem, but still perplexing non-the-less. Usually, the answer given to this is “I don’t know.” which is closer to the truth than the previous responses to date. She really does not know. She does care (even though she says she doesn’t) but she actually does not know. It is at this point you might ask for pizza, Italian, Mexican, fast food….

When the wife answers “Whatever.” or “Whatever you want.” don’t fall for it. These are verbal clues to you that you should keep going down the list of types of foods and various venues to consume these edibles. When faced with a “Whatever.” answer this in no way allows you the freedom to choose what you want. It is a trap that is designed to start something that should be put off for another day (read forever!).

Now for any ladies who might read this, when a man utters these same words “I don’t care.” it means exactly that! He does not care. He really doesn’t! Anything is good for him as long as it does not cost a lot of money or effort. Don’t read more into this statement than there is. It really means that he does not care; one way, or the other.

So to sum up, when a lady says “I don’t care.” it means that you are expected to magically read her mind, know exactly not only what she is thinking now, but also what she is feeling and how she is feeling about what she is thinking on a sub-conscious level.

One final caveat: Don’t get it wrong! The sanctions in life and marriage that can be imposed upon you for getting it wrong are enormous and will make everyone in the house miserable for the foreseeable future.

So there we go. No pressure. Just read minds, discern what she wants but does not know what she wants; add to that feelings that she might have on a sub-conscious level and be accurate 100% of the time because you will never live it down if you are wrong! “Remember when we went here before and the food tasted like cat food? Why did you think I ever wanted to come here again? Oh, look, there are fried pickles!”