While Ubering I went to an address in the Oak Cliff part of Dallas. I pulled up to the house and a man in his 30s got into the car. Immediately I could tell the guy was three sheets to the wind. The smell of cheap whisky and Coors filled the car. “Are we waiting for anyone else?” I asked. “Granny! You’re gauwnna love her mate!” We waited. And waited. After a few minutes I asked if she was coming. “Oh, yes. She just moves a little slow.”
After a few more minutes, Granny made her appearance with her daughter (mid to late 30s). She opened the door for her mother and immediately Granny yelled at the daughter “I’m not riding in some damned Jap job. I want a real car.” The daughter replied “Get in the car Momma.” I asked if there was a problem and the daughter informed me that she hated Japanese cars. I smiled and replied that the car was made in California and was more American than the Fords that are assembled in Mexico. I thought a little humor and information might defuse the bomb. Granny got in the car.
With the press of a button, off we went. Immediately Granny informed me that we were going the wrong direction. Looking at the GPS I asked where we were heading. “Greenville Ave” said the daughter. At that point, Granny began to speak in a very belligerent manner to the daughter informing her that Arlington was closer. I replied that Arlington was about 30 minutes away, but Greenville Ave. was only about 15. “What the hell do you know?” “Not much, but that is what the GPS says.” was my reply.
We traveled on. From the back of the car the son-in-law asked “Why is gas so cheap here?” I perked up and said “It is because of the free market. Supply is up, demand is down, and prices are low.” Granny went ballistic! “Oh no! You sound just like one of those G-D, M-F, S-O-B, Faggot Trump supporters.” (she did not use the initials.) Shocked at the foul language that same out from between Granny’s dentures, I replied “Whether I am or not, that is the reason gas prices are down. The free market help everyone!” “That is a G-D lie and your are just a (I can’t type the word, but it refers to, well, you know.) At that point the daughter spoke up and told her mom to “shut up before the nice man puts us out on the road.” I laughed as best as I could and said “She’s just a bundle of sunshine isn’t she!” The son-in-law laughed from the back seat and said “I told ya!”
“You Trumpers are the most pathetic a-holes I have ever met. You make me want to puke. I should do just that. I should stick my fingers down my throat and puke all over your Jap-job of a car.” I replied that is she did, I could then charger her $250 clean up. Again, the free market at work. Then she called me that combination of words that I can’t type.
We drove on. The daughter tried to engage in polite conversation. Granny interrupted “When we go out to eat, you better not disrespect your father! I won’t have it.” The daughter just begged Granny to behave and not make a scene. Knowing that her husband is out of the picture, probably dead, I began to picture him hanging himself. Being married to Granny, who could blame him. I asked if they were planning a big Thanksgiving. The son-in-law said they were going to eat and watch football. I replied that the Cowboys were on a winning streak (2 in a row). Granny chimed in: “The Cowboys are the best team ever and that Jason Garrett is the best coach there ever was.” I laughed and said, “Well, not everyone agrees.” Granny then said “Why don’t you just go…” at which point she invited me to perform a sex act on myself that I am quite certain is anatomically impossible if not illegal in the state of Texas. I laughed harder, shocked at the implication. The daughter grabbed Granny’s seat belt from behind and ordered her mom to shut up before they are all were tossed to the street. I replied that I always get my passengers to their destination, no matter what.
At some point as we were nearing the exit Granny pitched a fit and told me that I did not know how to drive and that I was going the wrong way. I replied that I know where everyone is going (sooner or later) and I know the way to get there. Granny then called me the “N” word! “Your just a (again, I can’t type the words) “N……..” Even more shocked I replied “Lady, I don’t appreciate that type of language in my car, and if you have not noticed, I am white. It may be white trash, but I am white!” At which point Granny called me a “faggot n……. who would not know a map from a hole in the ground.” The daughter grabbed the seat belt again and tugged on it to restrain Granny. The son-in-law said “I need another drink.” At this point, I felt really sorry for the daughter and her husband. Not only were they going to have to dine with this battle-ax but they were then going to have to go home with her. I smiled at what might happen if the waiter was black. The daughter yelled at her mom. Granny yelled back at her daughter, filled with foul language. The son-in-law looked like he was going to freak out.
At this point, I had enough of Granny. I pulled over to the nearest parking lot and explained that I had only evicted one other person from my car, but I was going to now. The daughter said “I understand!” The son-in-law said that we got farther than he thought we would.” Granny just called me a fag and wanted my name so she could report me to the Uber police. They all got out. I circled back around as I pulled out to the street. The daughter was nervously putting a cigarette into her mouth and trying desperately to light it. Granny was walking away waving her arms in a menacing way.
- Granny is not senile. She is just evil. While the DSM may label her as antisocial, or having a borderline personality disorder (learned behaviors), she is all that plus she is evil.
- You can only tolerate evil for so long before you do something. I never got mad. I was more surprised than offended that the old bat would act in such a manner. I could have delivered her to the destination, but I chose to put them out of the car before I got angry. The rest of the family were just collateral damage. Justice needed to come before wrath.
- Was she demonic? Perhaps there was some demonic influence, but no, her behavior was a personal and deliberate choice. It is a work of the flesh, not a mental illness or disorder.
- Is she beyond redemption? No. God’s love extends to us all, even Granny. She may be in mortal peril, but even she can be redeemed.